Wow

Wow. Just wow.

I have been watching television all day, overcome with hope and pride and renewed faith in our country. And in democracy. How fortunate we are to have a peaceful transition from one leader to the next, to be able to come together to celebrate and support a new leader without violence or bloodshed.

America the Beautiful indeed.

Nightmares

So, remind me not to watch Law & Order:SVU late at night. Especially home alone and when said episode is pretty much an unwelcome flashback to the past. Think I'll watch some of The Office to cleanse by palate.

Mid-Month Review

So, clearly, the blogging has not been going well! But, I think I'm managing well with my other resolutions. It's a marathon, not a sprint!

My running is going great. I feel really prepared for the Chattahoochee Challenge and am excited about the other races I have planned this year. I've also been getting in my yoga and Pilates cross training--four classes so far this month, which puts me on track for eight this month! I did talk to Penelope about Pilates certification, which is about ten times more expensive than I imagined ($5,000, to be exact), so I'm thinking that's a three to five year goal. But, I'm happy to keep up my practice and improve my form and know that I'll really have to save to make that dream a reality.

I have investigated more ways to get involved at church, though at this point, I'm starting to feel a bit overcommitted, so I'm hesitant to add anything else to my list of activities. Also, I'm not particularly enamoured with church right now, mostly because I feel like all of my efforts to get involved and reach out have been ignored--definitely not the most efficient or organized church staff around--so I'm not sure I want to commit to something if we decide to make a move.

I feel the most improvement in my work life. I'm still allowing myself to sleep in, but am really focusing on quality of work. I'm averaging about 4-5 hours a day and still getting in my workouts and some quality time with Tim. I probably need to start getting up a bit earlier--I tend to get overwhelmed if my inbox gets cluttered, and I don't have sufficient time to deal with it--and work a bit more at night, but overall, I think I'm developing good habits and finding some good work-life balance.

I've schedule Inauguration Day as an "off" day to indulge in some DVR and "me" time.

I do hope to write and blog more regularly, but for now, I'm happy with baby steps...

The Universe and U

I'm into song lyrics lately. I usually wake up with a song to describe my mood. This week, it's been "Hard for the Money," "Stand by Your Man" (only for the first line--"sometimes it's hard to be a woman") and "Sunshine on My Shoulders." I like to think of my life as one big soundtrack and often make playlists to accompany my mood.

This K.T. Tunstall sound, "The Universe and U," came to mind tonight. It's now seven days into the new year, and I'm already beginning to reap the rewards of hard work, planning, organization and most importantly, positive thinking. My running is improving, my energy is high, my mood is elevated, and the work and the connections are pouring in. It's an amazing testament to the fact that when you throw your hopes and dreams out into the universe, it answers.

You know there's no need to hide away

You know I tell the truth

We are just the same

I can feel everything you do

Hear everything you say

Even when you're miles away

Cause I am me, the universe and you

Namaste.

Procrastination

My dad bought me a book entitled Eat That Frog: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time. Clearly, he knows his daughter well. And being the expert procrastinator that I am, the book sat on my shelf for several months. Until now.

I actually picked it up today to read it, and it's providing me with invaluable advice and direction.

I start every day with the best of intentions. As you can tell from my running blog, I do posses some discipline. But I've yet to find a way to impose that discipline on my self and my work. Which you think would be easy to do, because the majority of the goals I listed yesterday cannot be achieved without a certain level of income, which requires clients, which requires finding them, keeping them, and--my personal favorite--getting them to pay me on time.

In what was the most difficult year of my life, I managed to survive a divorce AND support myself financially through freelance work--no small feat. But I consistently found myself writing lists and coming up with ideas and failing to follow through on things as simple as returning a phone call or yes--reading a helpful book.

That ended today. I moved my desk to the downstairs bedroom, closed the door and went to work on my list. I just started plowing through it. No prioritization, no hemming and hawing, no wasted time on Facebook or BabyNames or People.com. And it was amazing what I accomplished in just one short hour! Two phone calls, three invoices with follow-up emails, three emails, four thank you notes and a call to my insurance company. In 60 minutes.

I have a tendency to justify my procrastination by insisting it is part of the "creative" process. As if I'm achieving the highest levels of free-spiritedness or artistry by shirking traditional and "limiting" concepts such as to-do lists, deadlines and spreadsheets. But I realized today--as it took me only fifteen minutes to email five potential clients I've been cultivating--that in order to achieve my goals, in order to get to a place where I can be totally creative and free and unencumbered by society's norms, I'm going to have to play the game.

So count me in.

Resolutions

I've been doing some exercises from my Ladies Who Launch book, and one of them was to write down everything I wanted to accomplish in life, with the idea that this "wish list" will guide my decision making and business goals. Here's a sampling from that list:

Wouldn't it be wonderful if...
I had no debt.
I have enough money to retire one day.
I can afford to buy a new car when mine dies--AND pay for it in cash.
I could buy new clothes every season.
I could run the NYC marathon.
I could qualify for the Boston Marathon.
I could become a certified Pilates trainer.
I could take swimming lessons and run a triathlon.
I could raise $100,000 for TNT.
I could start a foundation.
I could truly tithe to my church.
I could feel more at home at All Saints.
I could start singing regularly again.
I could treat my parents and friends to dinner or drinks on occasion.
I could take my mom and my sister on a fun girls' trip.
I could travel the world with Tim--running marathons, eating good food, drinking good wine, exploring new places and enjoying our wonderful relationship.
I could afford to visit my special friends all of the country (and the world).
I could take fun trips with my friends without worrying about money.
I could afford tickets to fun sporting events like Tech home games, NCAA basketball tournaments and bowl games.
I could fully decorate my house
I could afford cool art for my home.
I could do something that makes a real difference in my community.
I could be published-preferably a book.
I could write regularly and someone will actually read what I write.
I could learn to speak fluent French, German, Italian, Spanish and maybe Portuguese.
I could spend several months in another country to learn the language and immerse myself in another culture.
I could net $100,000 annually.
I had a regularly roster of 8 to 10 clients.
I could eat without obsessing about food.
I could appreciate my body.
I could learn to like more foods.
I could have affordable health insurance.
I had an opportunity to mentor or counsel others.
I could have a maid service.
I could attend professional conferences and development seminars on a regular basis.
I could spend an entire day reading or catching up on my DVR.
I could write more.

So, to that end, in 2009, I resolve to...

• Pay off a quarter of my total debt (mostly owed to Mom and Dad and Uncle Sam), with a goal to be debt free by 2013.
• Save at least $1,000 for retirement.
• Have at least $5,000 in liquid savings.
• Save enough money to pay for our wedding and honeymoon in cash.
• Pay my quarterly taxes on time.
• Save enough money to buy a new winter coat and boots in the fall.
• Continue to improve my running times (see Run Lola Run for specific details), with goals of a sub 25 minute 5K, sub 55 minute 10k, 2:10 half marathon and 4:30 marathon.
• Run my first marathon.
• Attend at least eight yoga and Pilates classes a month to make full use of my membership at Urban Body Studios.
• Discuss Pilates certification with Penelope.
• Do yoga at least three nights a week prior to bed.
• Venture over to the MLK pool for some swims.
• Raise $1,000 to support my fall marathon through TNT.
• Give 1% of my income to All Saints.
• Attend church at least twice a month and explore new ways to get involved.
• Join the Evensong Choir at All Saints, or another group that is fun, low on commitment and sings great music.
• Treat my parents to a meal when they are here for the 4th of July.
• Treat myself to a sporting event I can actually afford--for now.
• Keep my house clean and focus on finishing up my casual china and getting a TV cabinet.
• Volunteer with either Threads or the Atlanta Community Food Bank or both.
• Blog regularly--at least two times per week per blog.
• Investigate writing classes.
• Review two French lessons each month.
• Procrastinate less and work more.
• Finish work by 8pm most nights.
• Add three big long-term clients and three smaller ones.
• Contact at least one potential client per week.
• Attend one networking event per month.
• Focus on performance rather than pounds.
• Try one new meal or food each month.
• Take one day off per month for to veg out and enjoy reading, television, writing and whatever else I choose to indulge in that day.
• Reconnect with one friend every week via email, phone call or random note.
• Write, write and write some more!

Happy 2009!

Letting Go

I haven't been writing much lately, and there's really no explanation other than the fact that I have lost confidence in myself and in my writing. I read other people's blogs, and they seem to have definitive points of interest, ranging from adorable children to amazing athletic accomplishments to brutally honest confessions to poignant analysis of timely issues. I don't seem to fit into any of those categories. I don't have dozens of people reading and commenting on my words. I can't seem to find anything that I deem--to put it in professional terms--"newsworthy" enough to send out into the universe.

And then of course, Tim reminded me of what my hero Anne Lamott recommends--"just write." And so, write I shall. No more over-analysis, self-doubt or self-pity. Even if it's something of interest only to me, I will write it. Because that's what writers do.